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How to have solo sex

What is sex?

If you ask the majority of people how they define sex, they’ll probably tell you it’s penis-in-vagina penetration. But for many of us, particularly those of us in the LGBTQ community, that’s not the case at all. Sex can be whatever you want it to be; fingering, oral, dry humping, even solo masturbation.

What is solo sex?

When we talk about solo sex, we are talking about masturbation. That includes doing it manually with your hands or fingers, or using a vibrator, vagina balls, dildo, fleshlight, blow-up doll… there are different toys for all kinds of stimulation (clitoris, g spot, p spot, and more). Whatever you’re using, if you’re using it alone, that’s solo sex.

What’s the point in having solo sex?

The best way of learning about your body is to spend some time alone with it. When it comes to sex with a partner(s), it is very easy to get distracted, end up “performing” for them, or let anxiety take hold of you, making it difficult to enjoy your time. This can be even worse for those who don’t masturbate! 

Everybody is different, so you can’t expect every sexual partner you have to know exactly what to do with yours to get you off. That knowledge cums (sorry) from within, then you share that knowledge with the person you’re having sex with. 

It’s also very healthy! Masturbating releases feel-good chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, especially during the climax. It can help you clear your head, reduce period pains, and get rid of a headache… There are so many reasons to do it, and very few (if any) reasons not to

How do I start having solo sex?

Sex toys can be a bit daunting, can’t they? But we are here to help. For people with vulvas, we would recommend starting with a wand that stimulates the clitoris, such as this one. You can also try a vagina toy such as this one, which focuses on g spot stimulation. 

For people with penises, you guys don’t have so many options, which we think is a shame. But there are loads to check out on our website. Take a look here and send us a DM on Instagram for any advice. 


We hope you have a pleasurable experience. Let us know what you love about solo sex in the comments. 

Lots of love,

Pleasure Vibes xx



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